Strive for Consistency
Showing up is most of the battle.
New Year’s is just around the corner, but no matter the month or day you are reading this, the topic is equally relevant. For various reasons, we all enter into times when we are ready to turn over the proverbial leaf. It can be exciting and at the least character shaping. However, regardless of your affinity for change – we know it’s coming so we benefit from embracing the moments when we can encourage change positively.
This can take shape as a plan for action – new workout routine, new hairstyle, new dietary choices, new…anything really. If you’re like me, the planning and getting set up to make a change (you know – plotting out exactly what you’ll do/eat/wear/etc.) is invigorating. Often the change in pace is welcomed for a few days or even a week or more. There is something so refreshing about removing monotony. Yet, given enough time the new leaf becomes ordinary and routine. The excitement wanes and regardless of when it happens, keeping that leaf turned over begins to feel more like work and less like excitement.
So, how do we go about breaking this cycle? I have 2 strategies I would like to propose:
1. Look for the beauty in ordinary. More on this later, but for now let’s just suffice it to say the extraordinary experience we call life is shaped and filled with the beauty of ordinary.
2. Routine is a powerfully good thing. Of course, there will be curveballs throughout our lives (that’s a topic for another day), but in the midst of the curves, waves, bumps, lulls and every other terrain we meet on life’s journey, routine can become a constant companion.
First, know this - I am still working all of this out too.
As I discern tidbits of wisdom shown to me, I write in hopes that my confangled heart will learn a lesson or two and you will benefit as well.
I have noticed – at least in my life – that routine and habit each have negative connotations often due to my lack of grace. Track with me here for a minute. I am the world’s worst at setting much too high of expectations upon myself and then pouring out shame and punishment rather than grace when I don’t meet those expectations. I plan for the best case scenario and then scold and shame myself when it all seemingly falls apart in the midst of everyday life.
For example, I resolve that I will better guide family time in the mornings to get our day started “on time”. Then, I will feed my brood lunch and settle them all down for a rest. In the quiet, I will then read some sweet words of wisdom and get in a 20-30 minute workout.
Then real life happens…
We wake 45 minutes later than my “scenario” and everyone’s already “Starving!” (their words, not mine since they have managed to eat 3 snacks in the first 5 minutes of being awake… also not part of my plan). Once I get the hungry bellies filled and the mess cleared we are now off to school work, phone calls (more than I planned), emails, texts, animals to feed, another 2-3 messes to clean, 2 dirty diapers instead of the one I anticipated and an hour late for lunch (not to mention the fact we are all still in pajamas).
Rather than seeing life as it is, or at least acknowledging that I need a more realistic plan…
I scold myself for not getting it together and then head down the wormhole of how this chaotic up-brining is going to mess my children up for life. By the time I wrestle 1 down for a nap, someone else is needing attention in the bathroom and the other two are arguing over who’s turn it is to boss the other around – I have spiraled into condemning my very existence (extreme, maybe, but I doubt I’m completely alone in this).
At this point, grace (that is love) would say, “This is life. It is messy. How about reading the kids to sleep and taking a nap with them? You could always go run and play a bit after the nap.”
Instead, I chalk the day up as a failure (which it isn’t since everyone is fed, loved, safe and taught already) and then proceed to give up completely and attempt to fill the void with chocolate…or ice cream (but maybe that’s just me).
I’m worn out just reading that. Yet, it is but a snippet of how hectic our lives are in spite of our best efforts. So, how do we respond with grace? With Love? I think we start small. Mini actually.
Graciously give ourselves the benefit of small victories. Instead of making a plan that requires a quiet, well organized, smooth day – make a plan that fits in the mess. My goal really was, “I want to read words that encourage my heart daily and move in a way that makes me feel better and get stronger.” The goal(s) were fantastic. The delivery was a hot mess.
Wouldn’t it have looked much different if I said,
“I am going to read one sentence that encourages me and do 2 squats every day.”
That would have been doable – no matter how hard the rest of the day was. These are known as mini habits.
The idea is that you boil your goals down to one (two at the most) at a time and make them so simple they are silly. So silly that you will say, “What good is that?!” The good comes from the consistency. The consistent wins of meeting those goals. To work and propel us down a road to more positive change, we need to recognize that mini habits are legitimate goals and worth our while. One sentence of encouragement a day over a year’s time is a minimum of (nothing says you can’t read a couple extra here and there) 365 joy filled moments as opposed to a paragraph, page or even chapter read once or twice across the year. The same goes for consistency built toward any habit you or I want to develop.
So rather than striving for big, fancy, complicated or impressive plans – how about striving for consistency with a mini-habit or two? Showing up is most of the battle and this will make that step simple and silly to avoid. Give yourself the love and grace you were created to receive and start scaling those mountains one mini-habit step at a time!
written by Kelli Keller, D.O.
Need ideas?
Drink more water —> 4 oz of water a day
Exercise more —> 2 squats, 1 push-up or walking out the front door daily
Eat more veggies —> 2 pieces of roasted broccoli or cauliflower a day
Improve your mood —> read 1 sentence of encouragement or wisdom a day
Improve your body image —> say ‘I love you’ to yourself everyday
The possibilities are endless. What mini-habit will you be conquering next? Let us know!
For more ideas, check out Mini Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results by Stephen Guise.
