Be Better Together
Grab a friend - we were created to be social.
Let me start by saying, my best friend (and husband) is an amazingly talented person. With a little time, elbow grease and the occasional good YouTube video, there is nothing yet he hasn’t been able to fix. So, the story I tell is not a stab at his skills, but a reminder of just how much better life is with others on our team.
We farm.
Loosely translated, that means we have day jobs to support our farming habit.
That said, we recently found a good deal on a truck that - with a little TLC - will make a fine farm truck. Part of that loving care included an overhaul of the braking system. On his day “off” (from the day job…there’s not a whole lot of “off” time around here) he set out to set right the wrongs that had been done. The day was mostly him working alone with the intermittent request for a “brake-pusher” (our children loved taking turns being the helper) and a one-time request that I supervise while he went completely under the vehicle. Although he told me it was in case something fell, I knew he had taken every appropriate precaution and this was just another layer of protection for a job such as this. Slowly and steadily, he finished the work a step at a time – mostly on his own.
Meanwhile, back at the farm…
(ok actually we were all at the farm, but I just had to say that)
…I was handing our children off to my grandparents (they are in their 80’s and take on 4 kiddos under 7 every week so that I can have 4 hours to focus on non-mommy work for a bit). Usually this is a smooth process, but on this particular afternoon the 1-year-old was having none of it. So rather than making everyone’s day miserable, he and I opted to “test the brakes” with daddy, while I got some work done between errands. In true toddler fashion, he was out like a light before we made it out of the driveway.
“Perfect!” I can get work done. He gets a nap. Off to take a drive on a beautiful, sunny afternoon.
We pulled into our first stop and I didn’t pay much attention. As Jeremy climbed out, I pulled my laptop open and began typing. You know when you’re sitting at a traffic light and you feel like you’re moving backward because others are moving slightly forward just next to you? That has always been a strange sensation to me. So, as I started typing and that slow creep feeling settled in, I didn’t pay much attention at first. Then, lifting my head to re-set my bearings, I thought, “Shew, it seems like I’m moving.” Quickly followed by, “I AM moving!”.
Thankfully, I was created as a react-first, think-later type. So, without another processed thought I sat my computer down, shimmied to the driver seat and pushed the brake pedal. The creeping stopped abruptly and there I was in a 1-ton diesel with a sleeping baby, safely in the middle of a busy parking lot.
To make matters more … interesting (yeah that’s the word I’ll use), the truck happens to be a standard shift and I happen to stink at driving a standard. Actually, it’s less the driving and more the starting and stopping I particularly stink at (we’re working on that).
All I knew to do was ask for help. I called J and watched him through the window as he looked at his phone, paused and slowly turned toward the parking lot while answering. I met his look of confusion followed by surprise with a wave. Then quickly explained what had happened and asked how I could pull the truck back into a parking spot safely without any further risk of danger. He calmly and politely talked me through the steps and I landed safely to wait out the remainder of the errand.
My first instinct (after the non-processed fix the moment instinct) was to laugh and share the comedy of the moment through a quick call to my mom. I’m hopelessly optimistic and see good in nearly every moment. It wasn’t until I climbed from the driver’s seat and recounted the moment to Jeremy that the potential danger of the moment really hit me. He said, “I’m so glad you had to come with me. That could have been really bad.”
There it was. The life lesson tucked inside this not-so-everyday moment.
There are so many things in life that you and I are good at. Really good at even. We were made magnificently. Each of us with different talents and gifts, but each amazing in our own way.
Just like J and his Mr. Fix-it giftedness. He had completed all of the hard stuff on his own. Taken all the appropriate safety measures and done his best to steward well all he had been given. Yet, an unforeseen mechanical failure of a particular braking mechanism could have been disastrous had it not been for him having someone – even someone as inaptly suited for the job as me – at his side.
We are better when we are together. This is true no matter if you are an introvert or extrovert (I know because I happen to be an introvert that is really good at tricking people into thinking I’m an extrovert).
How about you? Who is sitting in your passenger seat ready to take the wheel when you need a hand? You don’t have to be a social butterfly, but you were created to be social. Sure, people can be difficult (I know I am more often than I’d like to admit). Yet, it doesn’t change the fact that going it alone makes you vulnerable and at risk of turning around to your own empty parking space in spite of your skills, best efforts, checks and balances.
Neither having a friend nor being a friend should ever be taken for granted. Reach out to your person or people today. If it’s been a while since you’ve seen them face-to-face (I mean IRL not over a screen), make together time a priority this week.
You won’t regret it. Take a walk. Play a game. Sit and laugh until your sides ache.
Get together. Be better together.
written by Kelli Keller, D.O.
